Screw Lebron, wait until Boesch's decision in 2016

If you thought this year's NBA free agent dog and pony show was intense, just wait until the entire world gets caught up in the Brennan Boesch sweepstakes of 2016. After another five years at this pace, Brennan will be on track to break every MLB record. We should expect the Tigers to sign the young lady killer after this season to at least a five-year deal as the league has yet to realize how silly this kid is. We won't be so lucky in 2016.

"We fully expect Brennan to command a record-breaking offer in five years. It's simply a matter of time. We just hope we can win 3-4 World Series rings with his bat before that time comes.", reported Dave Dumbrowski on the hottest asset to hit the sports world since Matt Nokes in 1987 or maybe Chad Krueter in 1992.

Brennan was humble as usual. "Look, I'm young and still learning the game. Let me get 500 home runs under my belt before we start talking about the next contract. I'm just focused on helping my team win games, solving the unemployment problem in Detroit and landing a few action hero roles in the off-season." Indeed, this humble young man is obviously grounded and completely unaffected by his recent success.

Knowing full well that a spot on Brennan's entourage could set one up for life, Gerald Lard has taken to carrying Brennan's bag to his car after games. "Look, I've got two, maybe three weeks left in the bigs the way Avilla is hitting. I need to think about my future. Brennan is going to need a crew and every good crew has a fat guy. Think about it, Turtle in Entourage, Chunk from Goonies, Carnie from Wilson Phillips. I think I add value."

Detroit fans are already fretting over his potential defection to the Yankees or Red Sox. Most imagine that the announcement will precede a Presidential address beamed via satellite across the world. "You know, Brennan Boesch doesn't think about those things because Brennan Boesch plays it one game at a time. I'm still the same kid from Southern California that I was two months ago.", Boesch stated from his new Maserati. He hollered "Hurry up!" and Lard finished pumping his gas before the two sped off.

War and Peace is easier than this epic Tigers win was to watch

1. I started reading War and Peace this week, all 1,355 pages of it. After about fifty pages, I have to put it down and come back to it. Watching today's game felt eerily similar to reading the 19th century epic, translated from Russian. By the end of the second inning, both starters had been pulled and a game that started at 1:05PM was already pushing 90 minutes. At this point, I had to record the game and come back to it. On a positive note, Ilitch did well on beer sales today with a game that lasted nearly four hours and saw eleven counts go to 3-2.

2. Mags set the tone early in this game with an incredible at-bat in the first inning, drawing ten pitches from Millwood and ultimately taking a base on balls. He fouled off four pitches with two strikes. This is winning baseball, especially in July heat and against a team with a horrible bullpen. As would be expected, Cabrera came to the plate with two on and demolished an outside fastball off the center field wall, driving in two more and taking his RBI tally to 71 on the season. Brennan followed up with another outstanding at-bat, drawing seven pitches and taking a walk with a full count after falling behind 0-2. With Millwood sweating on the mound, Guillen pounced on a soft fastball for a single followed by Inge with a ground rule double. All said, it took Millwood 45 pitches to get out of the 1st inning but not before the Tigers took a 5-1 lead. Not to be outdone, rookie Andy Oliver couldn't close the door. He immediately relinquished the lead and mirrored Millwood's first inning by allowing the Orioles to bat around in the 2nd inning.

3. With a name that rhymes with "Fat Albert", how can you possibly not grow up as a fat ass? This is the sad plight of rotund Orioles middle reliever Matt Albers who must have been doomed to buffet tables from a young age. If you're at the ballpark Wednesday or Thursday, give him a "hey, hey, hey!" shout out.



4. The Baltimore Orioles wanted no part of dark horse MVP candidate, Brennan Boesch. He walked four times, tying a Tigers rookie record held by Steve Boros, whoever the hell that is. Way to go Brennan, you're swell.

5. Working with two men on and the game still hanging in the balance, Ryan Perry impressed by throwing his curve ball three straight times with two strikes. The last was a doozie, hitting the outside corner and buckling Julio Lugo's knees for a called third strike to end the inning. With his velocity, I question whether the curve ball needs to be his second pitch. A two-seamer or splitter would be easier to locate and might put less stress on his elbow (OK, I'm sensitive after Zumaya's injury).

6. The Tigers are leading the American League with a 28-12 home record.

7. Papa Grande gave up three hits today, taking his total to a staggering total of 14. Yes, in 36 innings, he has only given up 14 hits. He also let two runners score, taking his league-leading ERA from 0.50 to 1.0 - seriously Papa, let's pick up the pace a little.

8. MVP shoe-in, Miguel Cabrera, has accounted for 30% of the Tigers runs in 2010 which is the highest such total for any player in MLB. No one means more to their team than Cabrera who is also leading in home runs and RBI.


9. Inge had another great game, offensively and defensively. Inge has given me little to bitch about in the last two months with an average at .260 and clutch hits every other night. His slide in the 7th inning was an incredible show of athleticism as he twisted his body while already into the slide to beat a tag on a throw that beat him by two steps.




"Gay Tigers frolic after another home win"

Verlander becoming a legitimate ace - Tigers now in 1st place

1. JV was exceptional tonight, twice striking out the side and working his entire repertoire of pitches all night. He threw 15 pitches at 95 MPH or higher in the first inning and then went to work with his off-speed stuff. His most devastating pitch was his slide. This is a nasty pitch and must have the same arm motion and look as his fastball as opponents are swinging at some terrible pitches that reach the catcher in the dirt. He also used a nice changeup to entice Figgins into a soft ground ball to end the 7th with bases loaded. With a 100 MPH fastball, anything in the 80's with the same arm motion is going to be lethal. If Verlander can continue to perfect these pitches, he may ultimately become a true Cy Young candidate and not simply a strike out pitcher.


3. Great two-out rally in bottom of 4th inning capped by an improbable Inge single for two ribs after he got down 0-2. Brandon laid off two high fastballs and fouled off two more strikes before smacking a hanging curve ball through past a diving Jack Wilson at shortstop. Kudos Brandon, I will refrain from trashing you until tomorrow. Speaking of trash, Lard struck out swinging the very next at bat, stranding two runners.

4. I found it interesting in the 5th inning when Mario called a ground ball to second base "routine". There has been nothing "routine" about the Tigers defense this year. With 55 errors this year, they are among the Top 10 worst defensive teams in MLB and 3rd worst in the American League. Conversely, they were among the Top 10 best in 2009 which is why they led the Division wire to wire (almost). Compare this crappy fielding to the Twins who have only made 31 errors, which is tied with the Yankees for best in MLB. This is also why Minnesota is in the race every single year. Teams that field their position tend to be in the hunt late into September.

5. JV "shut the door" in the 5th inning which is what an ace does. After a great rally in an inning where your offense made their starter work, your ace needs a 1-2-3 inning. Put your opponent right back on the mound without rest - almost like an extension of the last bad inning. Vargas had to run right back onto the mound and proceeded to surrender four more runs before getting the axe for the night. Baseball is a game of moments that change the outcome of the game. JV's 1-2-3 5th inning might not have been memorable but it was the most important moment in the game.

6. Brennan Boesch is silly - hitting .450 against lefties with .850 SLG and had another two hits against Vargas tonight. He narrowly missed pulling a deep home run in the 5th (just foul) and adjusted at the plate to take an outside slider to the opposite field for a single. Seriously Brennan, cut it out.

7. Ryan Perry made his first appearance since June 7th tonight. His fastball was overpowering at 94-97 MPH. He threw five straight, well place fastballs to Milton Bradley, the last being of the swing and miss variety. His curve ball was average which is about all it needs to be for a middle reliever. Given the loss of Zumaya for the year, Perry will need to be solid for the Tigers to continue to dominate out of the pen.

8. Minnesota lost, Tigers won. We are now in first place, albeit tied with those bastards up North. I don't give a damn, I'm smoking a victory cigar and enjoying it as they play at 1PM tomorrow and I might not have time to enjoy this with Cliff Lee scheduled to start. I hope Lee spends some quality time at Bouzuki tonight and isn't feeling up to snuff tomorrow.